More Resume Bloopers
22. Dec, 2008 
0 Comments
Here are some more resume mis-haps!
- “I am loyal to my employer at all costs… Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
- “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
And from Resumania’s archive:
- Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”
- Interests: “Gossiping.”
- Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.”
- Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
- Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”
- Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
- Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”
- Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
- Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
- Additional skills: “I am a Notary Republic.”
- Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
- Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”
- Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
- Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
- Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
- Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
- Skills: “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.”
- Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
- Education: “I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.”
- Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
- Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
- Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
- Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
- References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
- Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”
- Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
- Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”
- Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
- Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
- Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”
- Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
- Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
- Experience: “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.”
- Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
- Objective: “What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
- Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”
- Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”
- Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
- “I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”
- Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
- Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.”
- Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
- Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees’ paychecks.”
- Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”
- Resume: “A great management team that has patents with its workers.”
- Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
- Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”
- Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
- Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”
- Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.”
- Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.’”
- Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity to Disney World.”
- Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
- Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.”
- Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.”
- References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
- “Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.”
- Accomplishments: “My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.”
- Career: “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.”
- Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
- Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”
This is very funny. I wonder if those are common mistakes on many professional resumes.
Hahaha. These are really funny. One of the best resume tips: Always double check everything. It’s the biggest task in making a professional resume.
This is great! I can’t believe someone would ever put one of these in a resume, but then again, I once accidentally marked that I was a man in an online resume. The interview was quite interesting…
These really are resume bloopers, very hilarious. Can’t imagine people making such mistakes on their professional resumes. We all need to avoid making such bloopers to get jobs we apply for.
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I never fail to be astounded at how many people hand in resumes or work products without ever spell checking, proofreading, and/or editing. I would never consider hiring someone who did that. It gives you an excellent idea of how marginally he or she would do the job in question.
This post is indeed very n ice. And at the same time funny too because of the common mistakes that people usually do. The resume tips and mistakes in resumes must be kept in mind while making a professional resume. Keep us updated with such kinds of posts. Thanks a lot.
These bloopers occur because many people don’t know how to prepare a professional resume. Most people need help doing that. So they should visit online resume building sites which give out tips for writing a professional resume.
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Oh, these were painful to read. I have always felt a professional resume should be honest but these bloopers are just a tad too honest. Has me thinking that I should have more than 1-2 people proofread my resume.
Keep the good resume tips coming…..
I really had a good laugh over these comments. I think the best thing to do when doing a professional resume is to have an objective person read your resume and give you constructive criticism when necessary.
Some of them are really silly to be written on a professional resume and by writing this blog you are giving some good resume tips,so that people do not make the same mistakes.
Personnel who turn in resume’s with bloopers like these are in dire need of resume tips. A professional resume will make or break your chances at good job. In today’s market you need every break you can get.
I can’t believe those have actually been on a professional resume. Those are some good resume tips to avoid.
I have one to add that I reviewed last year and I still laugh at remembering it.
Jobseeker is applying for a technical writing position and in his skills he places:
“Professional dance coordinator during high school”
Hi all !!! Actually these resume mis-haps has been occured when people have lack of knowledge about writing professional resume. First they should learn how to write a professional resume or opt for some good job sites who provides professional C.V writing process….
This is hilarious – well for us reading this post. I’ve been a recruiter before and I must say these mistakes are more often annoying than it is in real life.